A light sprinkle is tapping rhythmically against the studio windows today. I’ve got the glass cracked just an inch. Enough to let in that crisp autumn air fill the studio. Inside, my workspace is bathed in cozy, low lighting and Tang is huddled behind me. When I walk into the room sometimes I mistake him for a new sweater.
It’s quiet today and I appreciate that. Stillness is something I’ve been learning to grow accustomed to. Especially this time of year because… It’s officially my birthday month and if I’m being completely transparent with you, my birthday season is usually pretty somber.
I’ve gotten used to spending my birthdays either completely alone or just with my partner. Year after year my birthdays have been fraught with disappointment. My very earliest birthday memory is throwing a party when I was a kid... and literally no one showed up. Years after that everyone found themselves busy during the holiday season, and sprinkled throughout was being ghosted at birthday dinners and generally forgotten.
Those kind of core memories stick with you, and for a long time, they made me default to hiding out when my birthday rolled around.
But I’m turning 32 this year and I’ve decided I’m rewriting the script. While I can’t wrap my head around being fully obnoxious I’m opting to boost my spirits and actually invite people in to celebrate with me this year. In fact I did something I usually talk myself out of: I put together a birthday wishlist.
It’s definitely a reflection of my brain right now, ranging from the completely mundane (practical things my adult self actually needs to function) to things meant purely to delight my inner child and heal that kid who sat alone at the party table.
Highlights from the lineup:
The Mundane Adult Asks: A floor box fan — the studio has terrible air flow and this helps keep things flowing.
The Inner-Child Delights: Stickers! — My inner child CRAVES stickers and I want to put them everywhere! If you buy one set you gotta buy multiple, I plan on sharing.
Other Honorable Mentions: Books, books, and more books! A generator, a clipboard with a notepad, and much much more.
Anyway if you’re feeling generous, want to send some birthday love, or just want to see what a 32-year-old Sagitterrorist puts on a wishlist to cheer themselves up, check out my Amazon Wishlist here. But obviously there’s no pressure, just having you here reading this means a lot.
As much as I love unboxing practical gifts and inner-child treats, the absolute best birthday gift you could give me is letting me do what I do best for you. If you’ve been on the fence about working together, consider this your sign to finally prioritize your sensual self-care. I’m opening up a limited number of slots for November.
Here’s to honoring the quiet of the season, healing my younger self, and celebrating anyway.